A FEW QUESTIONS, OR PROOF THAT I'VE BEEN WATCHING TOO MUCH TELEVISION AND SPENDING A LOT OF TIME AT TARGET

Why do companies always make a big deal in their marketing about the fact that they'll ship their merchandise "right to your door?" Is that still a novelty? Is that unique to them? Do other companies ship "to your neighbor across the street" or "within 100 yards of your door?" Do shipping companies only get your packages directly to you every now and then? Do people often have to go looking for their packages in their neighbors' yards? I wasn't aware that I am one of the lucky ones, whose packages always reach my door when I order things. Counting my blessings tonight.

Also, have you used a self check-out kiosk at Target lately? After running your card through the system and thinking you're almost done, it decides to ask you questions. Lots of questions. Questions like "Do you want cash back?" "Do you want it all on the card?" "Would you like a receipt?" It will only be a matter of time before they start asking "What's your favorite color?" "Would you like to take a survey about your experience?" "Do you want paper or plastic?" "Does this screen make me look fat?" "What's your social security number?" I just want to take my groceries and go. Please, Target. 

What's up with the new anti-smoking commercials telling people that their cats are twice as likely to get cancer if they smoke around them? Do people really care more about their cats than themselves? Or people in general? Has it gotten to the point that bringing cats into the anti-smoking rhetoric is the only way we'll get people to stop smoking? "Don't do it to avoid getting lung cancer or a hole in your throat or harming your children. Do it for Mr. Mittens." 

Is anyone else grossed out by pop tart commercials? Do their advertising people really think that making us watch cute little pop tarts with faces and dreams and families get eaten by ravenous predator people won't, I don't know, creep us out? Or do they think we all have a twisted, cannibalistic side within us that is awakened because of these commercials? Either of these options is a bit disconcerting. As a person who grew up drawing cute little food people with faces and names and personalities and generally personifying any inanimate object I could successfully draw, I understand the pull to do this. Putting faces on things that normally don't have faces is like, the number one way to make things adorable. But pop tart people, your commercials are freaky. 

Also, what even is this Lays commercial? It's gross. And that's all I have to say. 

Goodnight.