Today I wished that I could have a little British child in my pocket that I could pull out and use to disband conversations any time people are saying weird or cringeworthy things. For example, when a strange and inappropriate discussion involving bodily functions occurred in the office today, I could have ushered in my little British lad (with the gusto of one throwing a Pokéball to summon one's trusty Pikachu) and he would have stood there and proclaimed with a small but urgent voice:
"I WILL NOT HAVE IT!"
"YOU MUST NOT TALK ANY LONGER!"
"GOOD DAY TO YOU!"
and then jumped back into my pocket, leaving everyone speechless.
Maybe if I wish for him again tomorrow, he'll show up in my pocket.
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