I'm a naturally negative person. Sometimes I think it's a side-effect of perfectionism, of incessant over-analysis, but whatever it is, I almost always view situations and events (and myself in general) in a pessimistic fashion.
Which is ironic, because I have every reason to be the most joyful, exuberant person on the planet. I honestly have nothing to complain about, so my subconscious mind reaches and grasps for anything that could possibly upset me. And oh, how my mind finds things.
And they pull me down.
But then there are days like today, where I have such glaring glimpses of the truth that my mind can't cast clouds across itself. And I remember that I have the power to keep those storm clouds from floating over my thoughts. I live for the glimpses.
They come from the quiet, pensive moments that bring everything into focus following the "talk to you laters" and "I love yous" of an ended phone conversation with my mother.
They come in misty eyes in public places whenever I look at a picture of my dad and think about all of the sacrifices he has made for me and all of the nights he lay next to his four-year-old daughter and spun the most wonderful stories that put her to sleep.
They come through reading lines of poetry and prose that retain their beauty despite the passing of centuries and touch my soul day in and day out, reminding me that I am sitting in the right classrooms.
They come in tingles on my arms and tears that streak my smiles when I realize, over and over again, that that man who, after barely a month of dating, left a bottle of chocolate milk on my doorstep the morning I was struggling not to fall apart, who drove me down a mountain in an ATV at breakneck speed to nurse my sprained, swollen ankle, who held me when there weren't words at the edge of a lake lit by the moon, will always be there.
And I am happy.
And I know that I am exactly where I'm supposed to be.
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