After four weeks of my creative writing class, I have yet to not be pleasantly surprised by the sheer amount of intriguing information and inspiration I receive on a daily basis. I'm actually being serious here. And even when forced to read LOVE POETRY that I've written in front of my classmates and generally putting myself under everyone's respective magnifying glasses of judgment, I still like this class. A lot.
We recently read an essay in class that was written by a man by the name of George Burnham and entitled Subtotals. It not only succeeded in making me laugh, but caused me to wonder what my subtotals would look like. So, of course, I wrote them down and placed them here, for your viewing pleasure, in their completely unedited and entirely factual states:
We recently read an essay in class that was written by a man by the name of George Burnham and entitled Subtotals. It not only succeeded in making me laugh, but caused me to wonder what my subtotals would look like. So, of course, I wrote them down and placed them here, for your viewing pleasure, in their completely unedited and entirely factual states:
Number of siblings: 2. Number of brothers: 2. Number of times I've made references that no one has understood: 52,934. Number of times I've avoided running into people, successful: 317; failures: 68. Number of broken bones: 0. Number of times I've thought about the placement of my hands while walking: 71,390. Number of times I've skipped breakfast: 627. Number of times I've regretted it: 0. Number of times I've travelled to Canada: 22. Number of times I've eaten Rice-A-Roni, before college: 0; since college began: 46. Number of times I've said something sarcastic that someone took seriously: 61,285. Number of times I've moved prior to college: 1. Number of states I've been to: 6. Number of times I've felt pathetic about that: 429. Number of blind dates: 1. Number of rings I wear every day: 3. Number of embarrassing moments: 2,018. Number of times killed in a dream: 0. Number of times my parents have told me I'm a loser: 0. Number of times they should have: 887. Number of proms I've been to: 2. Number of proms I've genuinely enjoyed: 1. Number of times I've been to Disneyland: 1. Number of times I've said "thank you" when I meant to say "you're welcome": 991. Number of mornings I've slept through my alarm: 34. Number of times I've ranted about something: 3,877. Number of times abducted by aliens, aware of: 0; in reality: 2. Number of times I've cried while laughing: 1,273. Number of hours spent playing Pokémon: 1,581. Number of times I've been told I'm "intimidating": 52. Number of plane flights: 2. Number of white hairs discovered: 3. Number of times getting sick in the car on a road trip: 1. Number of times genuinely surprised: 11. Number of dogs and cats owned: 0. Number of times I've walked into a room and forgotten why I came in there in the first place: 645. Number of times I've watched Pride & Prejudice: 102. Number of stairs climbed, up: 826,390; down, 823,989. Number of frisbees supposedly lost in the ocean: 1. Number of Nobel Peace Prizes: 0. Number of times the words "what if..." have crossed my mind: 217,485. Number of times completely in awe: 23. Number of times I've stayed silent when I should have said something: 892.
At least half of the times you've been told you were intimidating were most likely me.
ReplyDeleteJust saying.