RECIPROCITY

Normally on my walks home my thoughts usually revolve between "I really, really don't want to do this homework," "I should probably exercise...," or "I am going to raid my cabinets and eat everything in the house because I'm starving and also because procrastination." But then, on very rare occasions, these deep stream of consciousness thoughts happen and I can't help but come home and write them down while in the midst of the stream. 

I got an email earlier today from a person requesting that a large group of people (don't you love this ambiguity? I DO.) help him out with something. And for some reason, it popped back into my mind as I walked through the crunchy leaves on my journey from campus. I wondered how many people actually went out of their way to assist him, and I came to the conclusion that most probably didn't. Why? Because of all the times I could recall when people have asked him for assistance, and he was either reluctant to provide his support or didn't help them at all.

Which made me think about how different the reaction would have been had this person had a reputation for going out of his way for others. And, well, I think it would have been really different. And why is that? Because of our human desire for reciprocity. 

Think about it. We are driven by reciprocation. It determines the success of relationships, it influences our beliefs of justice and punishment, and even determines the commercial success of a story's plot. We want the villains to be punished to the same degree that they harmed our protagonist, or we'll feel unfulfilled with the ending of a film. We want our heroes to get to Elysium in the afterlife, the only ending fitting for such bravery and goodness. We want our significant others to reflect the same depth of love that we feel for them. If the reciprocity isn't there, something feels off. Something is wrong. Or, we won't feel as inclined to do a favor for that person I talked about earlier. It really is behind every aspect of our lives, whether we realize it or not.

And then there's the Golden Rule: "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." It's all about reciprocity. So many people determine their actions based on this idea. We tend to look at this as the "gold" standard of human interaction--the key to being a good person. But the opposite of the golden rule would sound something like this: "If you don't treat people kindly, you won't be treated kindly," which puts a rather self-interested spin on it. With the idea of reciprocity behind it, the golden rule becomes a kind of selfish manifesto: "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you--so that you aren't treated poorly." It turns into "what goes around comes around, so you'd better be nice in order to look out for yourself."

Not to sound really negative, but how much of the things that we do are, even subconsciously, only out of a sense of self-preservation and with the hope that our lives will be better as a result? Or that we'll get something in return? It's a deeply rooted part of our human nature, this idea of reciprocity. I'm not sure where I'm going with this, or how I got to this point really, but I suppose I'd just like to say that in light of the selfish side of reciprocation, it really makes me realize that the people who do things out of the goodness of their hearts, with no expectation for anything in return, who continue to be kind and act with respect to those who lash out with hostility or show complete indifference, are the best of us all.