A NECESSARY RANTING SESSION

Over the years I've come to accept the fact that quite a few things in the world are always just going to be the way that they are and will never, ever change. For example, how the number of hot dogs and hot dog buns contained in a single package will never match up, or how when I introduce myself to people and say that I'm from Oregon they will always respond by either referencing rain, pot, trees, or some clever variation of the three. It's just the way it is. And I'm okay with that.

Except for one thing. It came to my attention once again this morning in my drawing class and I ALMOST exploded on everyone. Almost. What could possibly get under my skin so much? Well...actually, a lot of things. A lot of things do. But, in particular:

The way people give compliments.

Now before you think I'm even more rude and sarcastic than you probably already do, let me explain myself. It seems that the great majority of people can't give a compliment without putting themselves down in the process. And it's STUPID. I see it everywhere, but typically in anything remotely art-related, and especially when it comes to drawing. 

We were beginning to work on our self portraits (which for me meant pretending to find a picture of myself to use on my laptop during the whole class while actually doing a whole bucket of nothing) and a girl in my class quickly started sketching out some amazing renditions of herself. They were freakishly accurate--but I wasn't surprised because she's a brilliant artist. And that's awesome. But, of course, all I heard for the ENTIRE THREE HOUR CLASS PERIOD were people saying things like "I wish I could draw like that" or "Yours is already better in ten minutes than mine will be after I spend all weekend on it" or "I might as well chop off my hands or die tragically or go cry in the figurative corner of the art world for the rest of my life because I will never be able to draw like that...You're so talented!"

Is this supposed to be flattering? Do people really think that by saying how horrible they are in relation to someone, they're giving a good compliment? Because honestly, it's a really suckish thing to do. And it should stop.

Having been on the receiving end of "compliments" like this, I can say from experience that it's awkward. Because you're sitting there and someone says something along the lines of "I'll never be as good of an artist as you. All I can do are stick figures!" (followed by a forced chuckle like they're the first person who's ever said that) and then you have to decide how to respond. And when people say things like this to me I never know whether I should say thank you or apologize to them. It's really quite uncomfortable. Like, should I feel bad about the fact that I have that ability? Should I feel happy because they hate themselves? Should I look into the noble art of witchcraft and find a sort of spell or potion that will somehow magically transfer my talents to them so they can stop bringing up their inferiority during every waking moment?

I just don't know. But do you know what they don't know? How to give a compliment.

Why can't we just appreciate the amazing things that our friends and peers do without comparing or putting ourselves down in the process? Isn't it possible to walk into an art museum and admire a beautiful painting and be glad that the painter had that ability without thinking "HE IS SUCH A BETTER PAINTER THAN I COULD EVER HOPE TO BE MY LIFE IS A LIE" and walking out of the exhibit feeling like a piece of trash? I feel like it should be. 

The same thing goes with girls on Facebook. This is what the typical comment thread looks like on almost any picture of a girl: 
                                                                   

                                                                                            

So yeah. It needs to stop. Because the only part you play in a true compliment is the fact that you're saying it. Is it really so hard to genuinely appreciate someone's abilities, accomplishments, or appearance and just tell them that? Is it so hard to say "You know, you're an amazing artist. I am honored to know you and can't wait to see where you end up-- because it'll be somewhere awesome." IS IT? NO. NO IT IS NOT. So please, stop criticizing yourself when you attempt to compliment someone else. If the opportunity to be a more tactful person doesn't sway you to do so, do it for my sanity......

Because OH MY GOODNESS I wish I was as sane as you are! Like, I should, like, be in an asylum or something--I am just so crazy and dumb! But you're not! And that is, like...so awesome.